this valentine's day, skip the restaurant
The most romantic dinner is the one you make at home.
I’ll take any excuse to eat out. No groceries in the fridge? Sure. A friend wants to try a new restaurant? Why not. But when it comes to Valentine’s Day, I pause. There’s this unnecessary pressure to buy into the festivities, where tables are harder-than-usual to secure and restaurants offer unnecessarily expensive set menus. I go back and forth about Valentine’s Day, questioning if it’s just a gimmicky Hallmark holiday or one worth celebrating. I’ve realized there’s no point in debating its significance. Now, I take Valentine’s Day for what it is: a chance to make an ordinary day a little extra special.
I forgo scouring Resy for availability and cook at home instead. But what makes this occasion different from any other weeknight dinner? Well, for me, it’s choosing a dish that requires just a bit more time or effort. I’m not talking oysters, Champagne, or another aphrodisiac. I mean a home-made dinner that feels just as memorable as any restaurant date, like one that calls for an expensive cut of meat or added technique.
Often, the two go hand in hand. Like a couple of years ago, when I had ghormeh sabzi, a traditional Persian stew with lamb shank braised in a medley of herbs with kidney beans and black lime (limoo amani). Growing up, this dish was part of my family’s dinner rotation, made weeknight-friendly by subbing in beef chucks cut into small pieces in place of bone-in lamb shank. My mom also used less fenugreek so its sharp, herbaceous smell wouldn’t linger throughout the house.
For Valentine’s Day, I didn’t take any shortcuts. I went to Kalustyan’s a few days prior to pick up dried fenugreek, then Foster Sundry the morning of to buy lamb shanks, and asked Ed to bring a bottle of wine. We dedicated the entire afternoon to cooking the ghormeh sabzi. We started around 3 p.m., chopping and sautéing the herbs and onions, before adding the lamb shanks and dried limes to the pot. We filled it to the top with water, covered it, and simmered.
In the time in between, we went for a walk, got ice cream for dessert, watched a movie, and prepared the tahdig. It was low-pressure — a cute and cozy night together. After hours on the stovetop, the water turned into a rich broth, the meat fell off the bone, and the herbs broke down into a luscious sauce. As the final steps of the ghormeh sabzi were coming together — steaming the rice, adding the can of kidney beans and saffron tea to the pot — all that was left to do was set the table. I placed out my table runner that I bought in Oaxaca, lit candles, set out linen napkins, and opened the bottle of wine. By 7 p.m., the stew was on the table.
This Valentine’s Day dinner might seem like more of an endeavor than a fun yet casual date at home. It was time intensive, sure, but most of it was hands off. A bit of pre-planning and thoughtful touches, like using fabric napkins instead of paper towels, helped to make the night feel elevated without spending a considerable amount of effort.
We went even lighter lift last year and had shabu shabu. I’ve talked about Japanese hot pot before in this newsletter, so I won’t go too much into the details (I’ve written about the recipe extensively here). But if you’re looking for something that requires even less technique than braising a big hunk of meat, I’d recommend going the hotpot route. It’s a fun excuse to browse the aisles of Chinatown’s grocery stores and pick out an assortment of veggies, noodles, and meats to dip into your broth — another kind of date night that’s less cheesy than one that involves a rose-petal-covered bed and heart-shaped box of chocolates.
This goes without saying, a partner isn’t a requirement for Valentine’s Day. My date is working on Friday so I’m cooking meatballs and red sauce with a friend. And in the years prior, I enjoyed Galentine’s Day with my group of friends when I made focaccia with a cherry tomato heart pressed into the center.
Cooking a nice meal and with someone you care about (be it a partner or a friend) already feels like an occasion beyond the usual dinner at home. By adding another variable, like a fancy ingredient or a project recipe, you can turn this dinner into a moment — and make it a Valentine’s Day worth celebrating.
— Rayna
That tahdig looks awesome!